


Mirrors & Lies

by jurilit



Series: Through the Smoke [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 11:14:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8283901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jurilit/pseuds/jurilit
Summary: A mirror only holds what you perceive you are, and perhaps that isn't always the truth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Moved this chapter over to a new part -- both Mirrors & Lies and To the Moon and Back are a part of Through the Smoke -- they take place within the same realm/time. Mirrors & Lies takes place a few months before To the Moon and Back.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**A FEW MONTHS AGO**

Laslow wasn’t sure when it’d started. When he found his eyes lingering on Xander when he wasn’t looking. When he started to want to spend more time with Xander. When he started to feel a churning pit in his stomach at all those fancy parties they’d have to attend at the castle when women would flock to him.

At first, he thought that perhaps he was just jealous. Xander was unlike any crown prince he’d ever met, including himself. Even in his own time, he was never as amazing as Xander was -- not even close. He was strong and intelligent, but kind and compassionate, always looking forward for the betterment of his people. Both men and women of the court admired Xander; the same couldn’t be said about Laslow, even when he was a prince.

But he wasn’t a prince here; his silver hair reminded him of that. Here, he was just a retainer to one. That’s all he would ever be, he reminded himself, as he watched yet another beautiful woman attempt to steal Xander away from a party.

Laslow grabbed himself another glass of wine as he glanced around the room, his eyes landing on a petite blonde woman. He downed the glass of wine before swiping up two more, offering one to the woman. He flashed her a charming smile. “What’s a beautiful woman such as yourself doing here alone?” he asked sweetly.

Anything to take his mind of Xander. Anyone would do. Laslow knew he was charming when he needed to be, he knew the right things to say when he really needed to say them. So after a few drinks and some light conversation, the woman agreed to follow Laslow to his room.

“Laslow?” asked a voice he really didn’t want to hear right now.

The woman was clinging onto his arm with one hand, a drink in her other. “Yes, milord?” Laslow asked, feeling a bit fuzzy himself. Anyone would do, he reminded himself. Anyone.

“Are you leaving?” Xander asked, furrowing his brow as his eyes flickered over the woman on Laslow’s arm. “You know we have to be awake early tomorrow to go and see Kamui at the northern fortress. It’s a half a day’s trek.”

“Of course,” Laslow answered. “I’ll be 100% tomorrow morning to travel to see Lady Kamui.”

Xander pressed his lips together, nodding. Laslow was already used to the disappointed look in his lord’s eyes. “Alright,” he said. “Enjoy your night.”

“You, too, milord,” Laslow said, grinning up at Xander despite himself, as the woman began to head for the door. Xander watched them go without another word and Laslow lead the woman up to his room. Clothes were shed and empty words exchanged, a heat that meant nothing shared between them and Laslow ended up once again, staring at the ceiling, a hollow feeling settling in his gut as yet another woman slept quietly at his side.

When he was sure she was asleep, he silently made his way out of bed and got dressed. He closed the door behind him and made his way down to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of wine, took one long swig and buried his face in his hands with a heavy sigh.

There were a lot of things he missed about his own time, and no matter how empty it already was, he did have people he loved there. He missed having tea with Robin and Morgan. He missed Lucina’s protective glare. And even though they weren’t the parents he’d grown up with, he missed his mother’s dancing. He missed her laugh. He even missed Chrom scolding him. He especially missed Gerome.

 _Gerome_. Granted, Laslow knew that the masked wyvern rider never returned his feelings. At least, he’d never had the courage to find out while he’d been in his own time. Laslow had worked hard to foster their friendship, and when he’d left, he’d done so without warning, without being able to tell Gerome a thing. Which was fine, Laslow had decided, he didn’t have to know. He didn’t want to know. He knew he’d get his heart broken again anyway.

“Laslow?”

Laslow startled, looking up and almost knocking down his glass of wine. Gods, why was it that Xander always found him when he didn’t want to be found? “Good evening, milord,” Laslow said, offering his lord a bright, practiced smile.

“Well, it’s technically morning,” Xander said, glancing at the clock. Laslow followed his gaze, not letting his smile break.

“Ah, you’re correct, as always, milord,” he said apologetically. “What are you doing awake?”

“I was working on some trading documents,” Xander said, gesturing upwards vaguely, probably referencing his room. “I wanted to come down for a cup of tea before bed.”

“Oh, let me,” Laslow said, standing. He gathered a teapot from the shelves and filled it with water, setting it over the stove. Xander sat at the counter, looking down at Laslow’s wine glass. His lips pressed into a thin line.

“Laslow, are you alright?” Xander asked, his retainer’s back to him. He saw Laslow’s shoulder stiffen, but he turned and flashed a bright smile.

“Of course, milord.”

“I’ve told you before that it’s fine to address me by name when we’re alone,” Xander reminded him, and Laslow chuckled, empty.

“My apologies, I can be quite forgetful,” Laslow said airly.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Xander asked again, gentler. “I thought you’d be asleep by now, considering you brought that woman to warm your bed.”

“Huh? Ah, right, yeah,” Laslow stumbled. He took a breath and let it out in a short sigh. “I tried, but I just...couldn’t sleep.”

“You know you can talk to me if there’s anything bothering you,” Xander assured him.

“There’s nothing bothering me,” Laslow said quietly. “I was just thinking of home, that’s all.”

Xander was quiet for a while. Laslow never really talked about where he was from. When Xander had tried to look into where Laslow was from, he’d found nothing -- absolutely nothing. Not his name, not a place, not anyone that even looked like him. It was like he’d materialized from thin air. But Xander had never pried. If Laslow didn’t want to talk about his home, Xander wasn’t someone who would coerce him into doing so.

When Laslow had been assigned to him, he’d been especially observant of his new retainer. Coming from no background, with no explanation, Xander was, of course, suspicious. He watched Laslow give everyone fake smiles and sometimes, his laugh was empty, but only if one really listened. And Xander listened. He knew that Laslow’s carefree exterior was, indeed, a show, but Xander knew that his intentions weren’t evil. Xander knew Laslow wasn’t a bad person. He trusted Laslow. He sometimes wished Laslow trusted him.

“You miss it?” Xander asked carefully.

“More than anything,” Laslow replied quietly, the water coming to a boil. He fetched a few tea leaves from the cabinet -- Earl Grey was Laslow’s favorite -- tapping some out of a jar and into a strainer.

Xander pressed his lips together. “You know, I’m grateful for you,” he started, Laslow turning slightly at his words. “I can’t even begin to understand your feelings; I’ve never had to leave my home. I appreciate you staying in my service despite all of that.”

Laslow laughed, a practiced laugh, waving him off. “It’s really no trouble at all and it’s not as though I’m unhappy here. _I_ should be grateful that I have such a kind lord. And I am,” he said, pouring the water through the strainer slowly, tea forming in Xander’s cup. He lowered the strainer to rest on the top of the cup, the leaves steeping. Laslow glanced at the clock, beginning to count the time.

Laslow paused for a moment, chewing on his lip as he looked back to Xander. “You know, you remind me of someone I knew back home,” he started, unsure. “He was quiet, stoic, kind of stubborn. But underneath all of that, he was a real softie. He was a really great and wonderful person, just like you,” he added with a grin. A real one. It was one of the first times Xander had ever seen him legitimately smile.

Xander chuckled. “What was his name?”

“Gerome,” Laslow said, Xander seeing the far-off look in Laslow’s eyes when he said it. It looked like it’d been a long while since Laslow had even said this person’s name, Laslow remembering how the name sounded on his own lips. Xander wondered if Laslow ever looked that way speaking about anyone else.

“And you miss this person?”

“Everyday,” Laslow said honestly, placing Xander’s cup in front of him.  “But I know he’s doing just fine without me, which I’ve been coming to terms with, I guess,” he said with a shrug. “Ah, sorry for rambling.”

“No, it’s nothing to apologize for,” Xander assured him. “You’re more than welcome to speak to me about anything. I’m glad I remind you of someone you care about.”

“You’re too kind,” Laslow said honestly, finishing off his glass of wine.  “But I should go back to my room,” Laslow said, finishing off his glass of wine. “I have to send Isabella home in a few hours.”

“Make sure to get her a carriage, it can be dangerous this early in the morning,” Xander suggested.

Laslow nodded, smiling. “Of course, I’d never let a lady be harmed,” he said. He tapped his hand on the counter. “Well, goodnight, then, milo--Xander.”

“Goodnight, Laslow,” Xander said.

Laslow turned for a moment, opening his mouth as though to say something, and then closed it again, giving Xander a practice smile. “See you in the morning,” he said, and disappeared.

 

\----

 

The days and nights passed without incident. Xander was, as always, busy. He was in and out of war councils and always on the road to visit Kamui in the fortress. He still tried to make time to spar with Peri and Laslow, and sometimes Leo as well. He had tea with Camilla when he could, and did his best to make time to play games with Elise. But even though he was used to it, it didn’t mean he wasn’t exhausted.

There was a soft rapping at his quarters door and Xander sighed, looking at the time. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He really didn’t feel like seeing anyone right now. But he was the crown prince, after all. He wasn’t allowed to be rude. “Come in.”

“Good evening,” greeted Laslow, pushing open the door with his hip, arms occupied with a tray. He lifted it, smiling brightly. “I know it’s late, but I thought you’d like some tea.”

Xander let out a breath, nodding slightly. He really didn’t feel like seeing anyone -- but realized he _really_ did want to see Laslow. “Yes, that’s very thoughtful of you, Laslow. A cup of tea sounds great,” he said, and Laslow placed the tray down on Xander’s table, pouring him a cup. He watched Laslow pour the water gracefully, like he’d done it a million times before. “How did you know Earl Grey is my favorite tea?”

“Hmm? Oh, I didn’t know, actually,” Laslow said with a small shrug. “I just noticed you drink it often, so I assumed you liked it. But I make it for you because it’s my favorite,” he added. “My mother taught me how to make it.”

“Ah, that’s what is it,” Xander said, Laslow looking at him, slightly confused. “When you make tea, it’s deeper and richer than it usually is when I make it myself. You make tea with knowledge and love from your mother; that’s why it tastes so much better.”

Laslow was flustered, offering Xander a small smile. Oh, _Gods_ , Xander thought. Laslow was too adorable for his own good. “T-that’s very kind of you to say, milord.”

“Xander,” he corrected gently.

“Xander. Sorry,” Laslow said, shaking his head. He bowed his head politely. “I just, ah, wanted to bring you tea. Sorry to bother you, I’ll show myself out. Have a good evening.”

“Did you want to stay?” Xander asked before he could stop himself. Laslow looked back, blinking a few times as though waiting for Xander to say he was just joking. “And have tea,” he added. “You’re not bothering me and you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to; you’re not on duty, so you’re not required to do anything if--”

“I do,” Laslow said, flashing one of his rare genuine smiles. “I would, I mean. Like to stay.”

“Great,” Xander said, standing and pouring Laslow a cup of tea. He hoisted up a chair from the corner of his room and brought it to his desk so Laslow could sit.

“What are you working on?” Laslow asked, craning his neck over some of Xander’s papers as he brought the tea to his lips.

Xander sighed, chuckling lightly. “Just a few formations,” he said, taking a sip of his own tea. He moved over a piece of parchment so Laslow could see it better. “Trying to strategize for the next war council. I have to figure out a new formation for the coup for you and Peri in two weeks.”

Laslow glanced over the parchment that Xander had been writing on, eyes flicking over the possible formations and outcomes. He pointed at one of the first formations that Xander had drawn. “What about this one?” he asked.

“Ah, yes,” Xander said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “This one won’t work. The fortress is protected here, and here,” he said, pointing to the appropriate sides.

“But you can split the troops here,” he said, pointing. “And make a perimeter this way.” He took another sip of tea. “Once the enemy realizes that they’re surrounded, it’s most likely they’ll just surrender. And if you have troops enter from here,” he said, pointing to the west entrance. “You can prevent more casualties on both sides.”

Xander listened quietly. It wasn’t often that Laslow spoke about formations and leading troops. “That’s actually a great idea, Laslow,” Xander said, circling the formation and drawing what Laslow had said. “Would you and Peri be able to capture the Hoshidan fortress in this way?”

“Of course,” Laslow said immediately with a nod. “I’d have to go over it with Peri but I’m sure it will be fine with it. We’re both more than capable of doing so.”

“Then I’ll bring it to the war council,” Xander said, rolling up the parchment. “Thank you.”

“It was your idea. Your instincts aren’t wrong,” Laslow said, laughing a bit. “Follow them. I’m here to help if you need. But forewarning, I’m not like Peri. I tend to prefer the least violent route.”

Xander smiled. “I think Kamui will be pleased with your methods; she’ll be voting in your favor. She’s just started learning formations and she’s never been the violent type. She always has something to say about it when I run formations by her.”

“That’s a good thing,” Laslow said with a smile. “That sort of way of thinking needs to be protected.”

“You’re good at these, Laslow. Where you’re from,” Xander started carefully. He paused. “Have you fought in a war before?”

Xander noticed Laslow struggle momentarily, casting his eyes down and then looking back up to Xander. He nodded shortly, smiling that fake smile of his. “Let’s just say this isn’t my first rodeo.”

“Or your second,” Xander realized slowly, and Laslow laughed, hollow.

“Or my second,” he confirmed.

“I’m sorry,” Xander said, his brows creasing in concern.

“It’s fine, really,” Laslow said, holding up a hand to wave Xander off.

“You won, though?” Xander asked and Laslow shrugged.

“Depends on how you look at it,” he said, eyes turning down to stare at the ripples in his tea. He looked back up to Xander, pain reflecting in his eyes. “Xander, I wish I could tell you more. I really do,” he added, and Xander heard the sincerity in his voice. “But I can’t.”

“It’s okay,” Xander said. “I understand. I apologize for prying.”

“I know it must be difficult to trust me because of my lack of background. I’m sure everyone felt the same about Odin, Selena, and I. But I appreciate your effort nonetheless, and I swear my loyalty to you. In no circumstance would I ever think of hurting you or your family--”

“I know,” Xander said immediately. “I know. And I do trust you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” Laslow said quietly, nodding. “And _you_ know I appreciate that, right?”

“I do. And I’m glad,” Xander said, offering Laslow a small smile.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Xander encouraged. “Anything.”

“It’s kind of a weird question,” Laslow warned with a laugh.

“Try me."

Laslow chuckled, tapping his nose. “Here, in Nohr, is royalty branded?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

Laslow placed his cup down, pointing at his left eye. “I already said I can’t tell you much, but I can say that where I’m from, if you were royalty, you had a brand in your eye,” Laslow explained. “It’s something you’re born with. It’s something royalty was proud of.” He paused for a moment, remembering Odin being upset that his brand was gone, too. “It seems like a burden, but it’s something they miss when it’s gone.”

“No, not that I’m aware of,” Xander said, seeming to think for a moment. “But that would be nice,” he added, chuckling. “My siblings and I look a bit different. It would be nice to have one thing in common between the five of us.”

Laslow smiled warmly. “Lady Kamui would be into that.”

“She would be,” Xander agreed. He leaned closer, and Laslow was suddenly aware of how close they were sitting. Xander was staring intently into his eyes, studying him. “Sorry. I thought you might have one. A brand, I mean.”

Laslow laughed, shaking his head. “Hah! Me, royalty? Could you even imagine?” Laslow said, waving him off.

“I could, actually,” Xander said, seeming amused by the idea.

“And what would Prince Laslow be like?” Laslow laughed.

“The same as you are now,” Xander said simply, surprising Laslow with his answer. “Exactly as you are now. Your skill with the sword. Your proper, practiced smiles. Your tendency to chase after women -- you’d be doing that as well, just as a prince. Perhaps more successfully as a prince.”

Laslow nodded, laughing. “Ah, yes, I suppose I would still be me,” he said, nodding. “Prince or not.”

“I know you would be,” Xander assured him with a small smile. “May I ask you something now?”

Laslow nodded. “Sure, it’s only fair,” he said. “But I might not be able to answer.”

“Fair enough,” Xander said. “But I wasn’t going to ask about you. I wanted to ask about your friend. Gerome.”

Laslow seemed surprised, blinking a few times. “What about him?”

“He seems to be very important to you,” Xander said gently. “I guess I just want to know a little about someone who meant that much to you.”

“I already told you, he’s just like you,” Laslow said, nodding.

“Was he a mercenary? Like you?”

Laslow shook his head. “No, he was a wyvern rider,” he said. Laslow brought his hands to his face, making a shape. “He wore a mask, like that, you know, kind of mysterious and way too cool for me. Oh, and he was really mean to me when we first met.”

“Ah, yes, that is just like me,” Xander mused playfully.

Laslow laughed. “He did warm up to me, though! And he was very kind, even though we were all a little on edge, I guess, from the things we had to do,” Laslow said. “He’s a good person. Just like you.”

Xander nodded. “I hope to meet him one day.”

“Yeah, maybe one day,” Laslow said, smiling. He finished the rest of his tea and stood up, gathering the rest of the dishes. “Well, I should head down and get these washed before bed. Thanks for inviting me to stay.”

“Of course,” Xander said, pausing for a moment. “If you like, we could, ah, have tea again tomorrow? But again, you wouldn’t be on duty, so you don’t have to if--”

“I’d love to,” Laslow said, smiling a genuine smile. “Have a good night, Xander.”

“Good night, Laslow.”

Laslow paused for a second, and turned around, some of the dishes sliding around on the tray. “Actually, ah,” he started, and then bit his lips, squeezing his eyes shut. He sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry. It’s nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said quickly, and fled the room.

 

\---

 

Laslow returned to Xander’s room at the end of the day for tea every night for the next week. Laslow actually really looked forward to spending time with Xander. They often exchanged one question a night and Laslow learned a lot about Xander. His favorite color was violet. He liked chocolate cake. He was really bad at archery, which was why he avoided teaching Elise whenever he could.

Xander was also more candid when they were alone. He laughed a lot more, teased Laslow, and even talked to Laslow about his worries. One of them being the coup that Laslow was leaving on the following morning.

“You’ve sent me out on missions literally dozens of times,” Laslow reminded him, waving him off. “And I’ve always brought back results. This one will be no different.”

Xander sighed heavily, his tea already cold. “I just worry, is all,” Xander said. “I worry every time I send you and Peri out on missions. Especially takeovers like this one. I wish I could go with you, but I have to work on recruitment for the army with Leo.”

“It’s really no big deal,” Laslow assured him. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before, and Peri’s really strong, too. We’ll protect each other.”

“Okay,” Xander said hesitantly, nodding. “Just be careful, alright?”

“Of course,” Laslow said with a grin.

Xander had found himself really beginning to enjoy Laslow’s company. He knew that the playboy persona Laslow put on on a daily basis was just for show, but he still liked the fact that Laslow could finally be a little more of himself around Xander. He flashed those fake smiles less. His laugh was filled with heart.

Xander glanced at the clock and was a bit surprised. He and Laslow had been talking for hours.

“Well, I should get to bed since I have to be up at an ungodly hour tomorrow,” Laslow said, standing to clear the dishes as he always did. He smiled at Xander. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Yes, I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“I’m honored,” Laslow said. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Laslow,” Xander said, turning back to his pile of papers.

“Inigo,” Laslow blurted, causing Xander to turn, his brows furrowing in confusion. Laslow swallowed a lump in his throat, his eyes averting to the ground. “M-my real name. It’s Inigo,” he stumbled, daring to look up at Xander, whose expression hadn’t changed. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that -- I’ll just go --”

“Inigo,” Xander said slowly, trying the name on his lips. “It’s a beautiful name.”

Laslow visibly flushed, turning pink all the way to the tips of his ears. Xander found it incredibly adorable. “Thanks,” Laslow said quietly.  

“May I use it?” Xander asked. “When we’re together.”

Laslow looked up at that, blinking a few times, his eyes sparkling. “Yeah,” he breathed, nodding. He smiled Xander’s favorite smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Good,” Xander said.

“Maybe, ah, not tell Odin and Selena,” Laslow added, holding a finger up. “That you know my real name. They’d get upset.”

“Of course. It’ll be our secret,” Xander promised. “Well, then goodnight, Inigo.”  
  
Laslow flashed another smile. “Goodnight, Xander.”


End file.
